Dec 08

5 Reasons Not To Work On Your Motorcycle In The Kitchen

Follow these steps to keep your marriage and motorcycle in top shape.

By Adam Ericson

Unless you have a deep and abiding aversion to oil and tools, part of the fun of owning a motorcycle is being able to tinker with it from time to time. You can take it to bits, work out why parts of it are not working, fix it, and then put it all back together again. But in order to spend many happy hours engrossed in motorcycle maintenance, you need somewhere warm and dry to work. For some people the kitchen might represent the perfect place to do this, but it does have its disadvantages.

Engine Oil is Not Suitable for Cooking

Oil is a pretty vital ingredient in any kitchen. We use olive oil for dressing salads and sunflower oil for frying foods. In fact there are lots of different types of oil you might use in the kitchen, but engine oil is not one of them. Black, greasy engine oil won’t taste nice and it certainly won’t do much for your salads. Nor will it enhance your deep, fried French fries.

Your Wife Will Probably Divorce You

Thoughtful guys don’t bring their motorcycle into the kitchen and proceed to take it apart. That’s because they know their wife will probably kill them painfully and slowly if they do. Of course if you are trying to precipitate a break-up, then dismantling a Harley Davidson on the kitchen floor is one way to speed things up a bit, but if you would prefer to stay happily married with all bedroom privileges intact, you need to find an alternative workshop.

It’s Impossible to Wash Engine Oil out of Tea Towels

One of the problems with working on mucky engines is that oil gets everywhere. And once you have oil stains on your clothing, it is almost impossible to get them out. If you choose to work on a motorcycle in the kitchen it is almost inevitable that you will grab a nice clean tea towel or dish cloth to wipe your hands at some point. But if you do, they will be ruined forever.

Kitchen Tables are for Eating Food Not Dismantling Engine Components

Kitchen tables are very useful pieced of furniture. They can be used for preparing food, sorting out various bits and pieces, and of course eating meals. Unfortunately, if you are in the middle of dismantling a motorcycle in the kitchen, most of the parts are likely to end up strewn across the table. This might not be a problem if you never eat at the table, but if you do, spaghetti bolognese won’t taste so good with a few nuts and bolts in the middle of the plate.

Your Dinner Guests Won’t Be Impressed

If you invite dinner guests around for a nice meal, they will expect the kitchen to be clean and habitable, especially if you are expecting them to eat in there. So they might be disconcerted if they have to step over a few bits of bike parts or scrape oil off the chair before they sit down.

Instead of alienating your wife and ruining your social life, find a better place to work on your motorcycle. And if you don’t have a handy garage, look at temporary garages because they are a much better idea than moving your motorcycle into the kitchen.

[important]Adam Ericson, the author of this article, is a designer at Discount Portable Garages, a company which provides temporary shelter. Adam is a movie fan and enjoys his weekends at the movies with his friends.[/important]

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